8 posts tagged “yoga”
Yesterday morning I went to a yoga class (the only one offered by the studio on the 4th) and was surprised to find that pretty much everyone else showed up too. There must have been 50 people crammed into the studio. During the practice the instructor gave us some ideas to focus on during the longer poses. As yoga is meant to develop the mind as well as the body it is not uncommon for practice to include some kind of directed thinking, even if only to the extent of being aware of breathing or sensations in the body. The idea is to teach the mind to stop wandering and spinning - which is an important aspect of the yogic tradition of preparing the body and mind for meditation.
Since it was Independence Day the theme was independence and freedom through "seeing". The gist is that to become free of the things that constrict us we must first "see" - or become aware - of them. On a basic level, in order to become free of physical restrictions (tension in the jaw? tight hamstrings? weak arms?) you must first recognize them. She also talked about the experience of being alone. Yoga is a very individualistic activity. You may be in the room with 50 other people, but yoga requires so much internal focus that it becomes a very singular experience. She re-framed the idea of "alone" as "all-one"... cheesy, but valid. One of the most challenging psychological hurdles we all deal with is the acceptance that no amount of love and friendship can amend the fact that we are each stuck living our own life for ourselves: alone. Acceptance of that fact is the first step in free thought. No one else can think for you.
I haven't had a TV for over 2 years. I'm not anti-TV - I think there are some good shows and don't have a problem with cheesy entertainment from time to time - but what the hell is going on with ANTM? That show has always been pretty blatantly anti-woman, no matter how much Tyra pays lip service to empowerment. The whole thing is about petty vanity and catty-ness. That's why it's fun to watch. Fundamentally the show objectifies women, that is pretty obvious, but as with Playboy and other sexist institutions my theory is that if women choose to objectify themselves that's their business. No one is forcing them right?
An article I read yesterday about ANTM made me think about it a bit harder. Apparently there was recently an episode that involved dressing the girls as murder victims. Um, ok. I guess that's "edgy" or something. It certainly isn't sexy, except for those who find violent crime and dead bodies hot. I'm a staunch believer in freedom of expression and artistic license, so I don't think that episode should be censored in any way. But I have to ask why. Why is that how "we" want to see young women? Victims. As if valuing them solely for their "modelesque" qualities weren't bad enough... now it's glamorizing murder?
Does it really matter? I think so. The backlash against the women's movement has gone so far that I fear many young women are growing up to be even more submissive that their great-grandmothers were. Media isn't doing anything spectacular for boys, either, but women have more to lose. We still have not gained the equality (of salary, education) that was fought for in the 60's and 70's, but things have changed a lot. Now it seems that most of America has slipped back into the kind of widely accepted sexism that led to the epidemic of housewife depression and suicide in the 1950's. I don't think that's a matter of individual choices - I think it's a cultural norm. I also think that it is something that everyone needs to look in the face. In order to change our cultural illnesses we first have to see them. In order to become independent we first have to learn to think for ourselves.
Yesterday my friend Joe and I went on an adventure to the Skagit Valley to hunt the elusive tulips...
We went to the tulip information center in Mt. Vernon to pick up a map, and as we were leaving (having grabbed a brochure without engaging either of the tulip specialists) the female tulip volunteer anxiously asked, "Do you know where to go?" We nodded and shrugged and walked out as she called after us, "You have to turn left!" This seemed like it must be an important piece of advice, but we soon discovered that there was no way to leave the parking lot and take a left. It was right turn only, so we turned right and somehow found the tulips anyway. All day we were haunted by the left turn we never took.
In the tulip field I set myself two challenges: 1) Photograph tulips in a non-boring way if at all possibly, and 2) surreptitiosly photograph people who were posing for another camera...
There are a kazillion more photos on my flickr page.
Today. Oh, Monday. I got out for a run, which was a good pre-work stress prevention tactic. In the Monday morning meeting my boss, the owner of the company, somehow managed to put off our concerns about the financial viability of the company for an entire week. That helps my stress level alot. The baguette box was closed for cleaning (?) so I settled for an egg salad sandwich I didn't really want.
I finished my taxes. I need to mail a check for $1127 tomorrow, which I unfortunately don't have. More penalties.
It seems there was a shooting spree on the other side of the country, which makes me wonder a couple of things...
- What will it take for this country to support stricter gun laws? Shooting sprees almost never happen in countries where citizens can't buy guns. The right to bear arms is a bit of an out-dated concept, particularly since the concept of a civilian military taking on the US armed forces is totally ludicrous. That was the original philosophy behind the freedom to bear arms - so the citizenry could not be easily controlled. And now we are incredibly easy to control by virtue of being afraid of everything.
- What hole in the fabric of society did the shooter fall through? How can we live in a world where a mentally unstable person is not in the hands of caring people, much less able to bear arms. Crazy people should not have guns. It rarely turns out to be a good idea. We sometimes get so caught up in the battle between "good" and "evil" that we forget that this person was flat out ILL. Someone, somewhere was not doing their job if a sick person was running around with weapons.
Thank god for Monday yoga to keep me sane.
Tomorrow... I'm working on bids for an "ultimate sizzle video" and a NASCAR kiosk. I'm going to try not to let this get to me too much. Sometimes it is just too demoralizing for words.
My cell phone rang as I was driving to yoga class. I normally don't drive to yoga class, I just walk over from work, but today I was driven out of the office by the most intense toxic fumes. Within a half hour of the floor varnish wafting from next door I had a pounding headache and was literally seeing spots. About halfway home I remembered that my internet at home was down - I stopped in and checked, still out - so I redirected myself to Victrola and a slice of chocolate bundt cake. I considered not going to yoga, but I really needed the endorphins today, so I diverted various work crises and hopped in my buggy.
I rarely if ever answer my phone when driving. I'm actually quite vigorously opposed to talking on the phone while driving. But the caller was P!Tricia (that's my mom. It's legally P'Tricia, but I enjoy the exclamation) and she was calling with the results of her biopsy. Last week she had a sore breast and found a lump the size of a pea. I was at a red light, so I answered. From the moment she said "hi" I knew it was benign. The word benign is such a good word to hear. She sounded happy. When I spoke to her on Saturday she was really worried and not sleeping. Huge relief.
I really wouldn't mind if no one I know (including myself) ever has to have anything biopsied again. Seriously, I'm tired of cancer, and fear of cancer, and cancer scares. This is the second breast lump my mom has had biopsied since she had her stem-cell transplant six years ago. She is cured of Leukemia, but the thing about cancer treatments is that if you live through them, you are at a higher risk for other kinds of cancer. It turns out chemo is not all that healthy. A bit of irony I get no pleasure from at all. Cancer has taken two of my favorite people from me - my grandma Pat, and my dad. There's no one to get angry at for this. It's a good thing I don't believe in any kind of god, because if I did I would be full of hatred for the deity just for something to direct my anger at.
Anyway. I was able to do yoga with that nice word "benign" floating around in my head. At the end of class I was lying with my legs up a wall when I remembered my car tabs. Expired. New ones on desk at home. It's funny what a fresh supply of blood to brain can do. I was remembering all kinds of things. Luckily I have forgotten most of them now. I got home safely and un-ticketed, and only nearly killed by some idiot talking on his cell phone.
Show us what's on the agenda.
After that work, desk organizing, setting up a laptop for a video shoot tomorrow, nailing down other shoot details, and finally 5:45 yoga. Ahh.
Monday yoga. I missed it last week due to work and today I basically walked out of work at 5:20 in the midst of blazing fires in every corner. I needed some yoga. There was a substitute instructor, which made me a bit apprehensive. Last time Amanda wasn't there I got a bit more than I bargained for from a yoga nazi. And today's substitute was a man. A tall, attractive, lean and muscular man no less. Hmm.
He got us into some serious hip work. Unless you do yoga you can't imagine how good it feels to get a good hip stretch on. It's like a 20 mile bicycle ride and good sex all in one go. Or at least how you feel after is similar... it would actually be a bit awkward to do those two things at once. Anyway, he was good.
Toward the end he had us lie down and "thread the needle" - at this point he helped me get deeper into my hips by pulling gently on one of my thighs while he pushed on my other calf (you'd have to be there I think). I like special attention from the hot yoga man. It was the most non-sexual fun I've had with a man since I went to the hot podiatrist a couple of years ago. Foot fondling can be nice too.
But enough of my sexual frustration. Here's another soundtrack song. In this scene not much happens. Rain batters the outside of the window while cigarette smoke curls up the inside. It may be shot in balck and white....
Sufjan Stevens - Dumb I Sound
Today, as I sometimes do, I looked after my cat who lives with my ex-husband. Loki is fourteen years old and the biggest ball of orange fur you'll ever see. He normally weighs in around 14 lbs, but a new thyroid disorder is causing him to lose weight. He's still just a big kitten and was leaping after his feather toy for me and biting me as petulantly as ever. He's also quite a love beast and will demand attention and full-body petting. I miss my cat.
It's weird to go back there. I lived there with Matthew for eight years, and though my stuff is now gone it is really much the same as when I left. I have a weird anxiety that he will move (which he surely will eventually) and the place that still seems to be "my world" will disappear. While I was there I did some yoga and watched some episodes of Fry & Laurie. Just as if I never left.
He has a girlfriend now, and I am happy for him, but at the same time it's another lock on the door to that world that I lived in for so long. I can't go back. I don't want to go back. But there's something comforting in the fact that it is still intact, over there in Ballard. In the same way it's comforting to look at that maple tree at my grandpa's house with the thermometer on it that has been there since before I was born. It's all on the verge of changing, and then there will be nowhere familiar I can go back to.
Here's soundtrack song #2 - for the packing up and moving out scene.
Love: A House is not a Motel
I skipped yoga tonight so I could a) finish work and b) read Tom Sawyer tonight. I am still egregiously behind on the online Children's Lit class. Can I read all of Tom Sawyer in one evening and write a short essay in another? We are about to find out. Wednesday thru Friday I have evening plans this week, so tonight and tomorrow are for homework catch up. It's weeks like this that servants would be really nice to wash my tea mugs and scrape my underwear off the floor. But alas... I found this in my kitchen today. Pretty, isn't it?
What is your current obsession(s)?
Submitted by eijsr.Dark chocolate covered pretzels from Trader Joe's.
How to have a well-behaved parrot.
Canon Digital Rebel
