39 posts tagged “work”

I was going to write a novel this month, like everyone else. (I hope someone still reads novels)... Actually I thought I'd finish the one I started last year, which combines a historical lesbian murder mystery with ex-pat magical realism. In Paris. Yeah.

But then 2 weeks ago my former boss called. I stopped working for him in Feb 2008, and he has since hired and fired several replacements, but right now the position is vacant to keep costs down. He needed help writing a proposal for a Microsoft project due in 2 days (how I don't miss those flaming hoops). So I agreed to crank it out for some freelance dollars. And I did, and even went with him to pitch it. All went well, but we didn't win due to the technical complexity... we could have pulled it off, but I am glad not to be working on it. It had a stupid schedule, and I think I already mentioned how I don't miss those flaming hoops.

Meanwhile, he got the opportunity to bid on 23 interactive applications for a museum. I got a copy of the RFP a week ago and agreed to work on this proposal as well... that means basically scoping out each (highly complex) application, budgeting, and a lot of half-sales, half-technical writing... by the 24th.

So all I'm doing, all day and all night, and even on my birthday Monday...is writing proposals. So maybe I'll write a novel some other month.

I also have no job. This was no surprise, really. The big projects we were counting on have not come in. And even the small projects are slow to get off the ground. I knew it was coming, if not now then soon. I have been making other plans, even as I tried to help get business in the door. And now is an excellent time to get those other plans going. This year will be financially difficult, but in the long run I believe I will be better off. So, hooray for unemployment. Or, self-employment I should say. Because that is the new plan. No more working for other people. Hello entrepreneurship!

I'd love any input on my latest lemon zest post about figuring out how to not sell out and still make a good living... 

I am sick of working from my couch, and tomorrow promises to be more slushy than icy. So, regardless of the luxury of working from home I am going to make the walk down the hill. I also have a package awaiting me there, and I need to deposit some checks in the bank, so I will actually be trying to have a normal-ish day tomorrow and then disappear quietly on Wednesday, until next week, when I will be sort of half working from home.

I've never seen this much snow fall all at once in Seattle. It's remarkable and very pretty, but the town in simply not prepared. The side streets are left un-plowed and un-sanded. I saw three people cross-country skiing up my street on my way to the coffee shop this morning.

But the office has been preemptively closed through New Year due to hecka weather. So I guess I will be enjoying my cozy apartment... for quite some time. I'm technically working from home, so I will get paid, but..... weird. 

I was supposed to have a 9AM meeting with a bunch of Israelis and a Frenchman in Leschi (at the bottom of a very steep hill). You didn't know I was a member of the Secret Service, did you? Anyway. I opened my blinds at 7:30 to a winter wonderland. I checked the bus schedules and the one I was going to take was still running, and if I caught the 7:57 I would have a half hour to walk down the very steep hill.

So out I went, feeling the need to make up for the two days of work I missed this week by doing penance (this meeting being with the client we cut our losses with - about the part of the project we're still on). It was snowing pretty heavily and the roads did not look good - icy under fresh snow-pack. A half block down the hill I watched someone in a rear-wheel-drive BMW make their car smoke spinning their wheels, trying to get up the hill. It occurred to me that the meeting might be canceled. When I got to the bus stop I texted the Partner who was supposed to be in the meeting with me, and he replied that I should stay home. He had just spent an hour trying to get to the ferry (normally 10 minutes) and was going to phone in. So I went to Top Pot and had a Maple Bar and coffee and watched the snow.

I'm feeling much better, by the way. After 30 hours of sleep in two days I am AWAKE. Last night I had a rejuvenating sushi dinner in an empty restaurant (because even though it hadn't snowed everyone was afraid it would start any minute... schools were actually closed yesterday, and not a flake fell all day. The roads were clear... but that's Seattle).

So it looks like this may be a one day work week for me, as it appears it will be more icy tomorrow. We're all working from home. Yesterday when I got to my desk I found a bonus check and a $200 Amazon gift card from the Partners. So nice. But my problem (which isn't actually a problem by any stretch of the imagination) is: do I buy a little point and shoot camera I can carry in my bag (my real camera is bulky and my phone takes lousy pics)? Or do I get some books off of my wishlist... or a couple of nice pots/ pans that I could really use? Or all 3?!

My therapist once wisely told me that sometime the key to getting what you want is saying no to what you don't want. Today at work we had a little exercise in that treacherous art. We basically told a client that they can stick their scope increases an put them where the sun don't shine. Perhaps it's not wise to blow off a well funded client in these uncertain times, but what they continue to ask for is:

1. An uncertain, growing amount of work
2. For a set and immovable amount of money
3. In a set and immovable timeframe

Frankly, that's not cool. So today we told the middle-man that we are ready to cut our losses and pull out of the project. He was not happy. He called us unprofessional and said he is very disappointed. The thing is, we don't care if he's disappointed. We don't even care that we're losing a chunk of the original budget. That's how annoying this project has been.

not all that unusual. at least friday afternoon is looking ok.

I've been having trouble sleeping lately. This morning I got up at 5:30 and did my dishes. If you knew how unlike me this behavior is, you might be worried. I have a bundle of stress between my shoulder blades.  I need a massage, but I have no money.  Today I'm going to go sell books and CDs so I will have lunch money to get me through to payday in a week. I spent the dwindling balance of my checking account on a trip to Trader Joe's last night, so at least I have food at home, and birdfood. Thankfully I am scheduled to get a raise at the end of September, if the clients don't drive me out first.  Is it the full moon? They are all acting crazy this week. Arguing, expressing frustration, accusing me of trying to "blame" them for our internal problems. I have never had so much client negativity before, and I'm pretty sure it's nothing I'm doing. I need a different career. Project/Account management, while invigorating, does not suit my essentially intraverted personality. I pretend to be this organized, client-focused, take-charge type of person. Most of life turns out to be acting.

There's a mosquito in my apartment. Strange.

The last couple of weeks have been hectic. I went to Idaho with Rosie and Lily and went to 4 bars that I never thought I would set foot in again, plus one I'd never been to before. I bought my mom a ginormous crystal and a moonstone ring for her birthday. She sleeps with the crystal under her pillow and and dreams in lavender and blue. Have I mentioned my mom's a kook? Yeah. Also saw both of my male cousins (one on each side of my family). I have 5 female cousins and 2 male and I have talked to my female cousins collectively about 5 times. I take that back - I spent a month in Europe with one of them, but I spent most of the trip hanging out with her husband & mom while she and the baby slept, so some how it doesn't count. Besides which I was already an adult by then, over 30. My male cousins I saw regularly when I was a kid and it was sweet to see them. Cousin Matt got all misty about my dad who died 4 years ago and gave me a random hug in the bar. Cousin Shay offered to help with my condo buying process. Good people, my boy cousins.

My aunt and uncle arrived a week ago with their hail-damaged Nissan to go on a cruise to Alaska. I'm car-sitting for them, so I offered to drive down to Portland last weekend to meet up with my friend's friend from New Orleans who makes cute little coin purses and sells them at crafts shows.  Sometimes I wish I had a crafty pursuit. I enjoy doing things like that, and it would be fun to actually sell my wares, but I lack time, patience, space, motivation. In Portland we mainly hung out at Powell's and McMenamin's Edgefield "compound" in Troutdale (though our room was at the HoJo in Gresham). We saw Burn After Reading at a theater with "Authentic 1950's Restrooms" for $4.50. We spent some time driving around trying to find a part of town that we finally found the next day and spent some good hours in the Bye and Bye Bar before driving back. Saturday night, hopped up on Xanax, wine, and emotional stress, I snuck into the Howard Johnson pool in my underwear after hours.

This week, I went to therapy which I missed last week due to a MobileMe snafu, went to Trader Joe's and bought a lot of packaged meals, and have been preoccupied by work nonsense. Tonight I am going to a Paul Auster reading, tomorrow to an opening reception at the Frye Museum. Next week I'll be going to see The Wedding Present and not Nick Cave (sold out). This weekend I will be coming back down to earth.

Amongst the many things that have lately been distracting me from blog-land is producing a DVD for patients recently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. The first edition of the DVD was my first official producer role four years ago, and now we are revising it with new and updated information.  Two of the new sections are testimonials from family caregivers and interviews with young children of people with Parkinson's.

Carolyn is in her seventies and her husband Wayne was diagnosed with Parkinson's ten years ago.  They have been married forty years and rarely have I seen someone so in obviously and honestly in love.  She does not see the disease as a burden (though clearly it is), but rather as a journey they did not plan to take.  Over the course of this journey they have learned a lot about themselves and one another, she has improved her physical health and lost weight, and she sees them as caring for one another, as opposed to her taking care of someone who is sick.  Parkinson's Disease does not make life easier for anyone, but this woman takes the good with the bad and they live a full and relatively happy life.  It's just not the one they expected.

And who can predict these things?

Betty Jane is the sixteen year old daughter of a man with PD.  She has two younger siblings.  Her father is on permanent disability, and she is the only person in the family who is able to work.  She has a job at a grocery store and admits that some days she comes home tired and frustrated. At the same time she considers herself lucky.  Unlike other kids her age, who she teases for being spoiled, she can cook meals, and knows how to care for herself.  Of course, no child should have to go through that.  But if there are no other options, it is much better to look to the positive side of things than to become bitter and live in despair. 

Life does not always cooperate with our wishes, and these are two women who have accepted that and learned how to flourish in hardship.  Hats off to Carolyn and Betty Jane.