2 posts tagged “detox”

When I quit drinking it was a simple exercise: I can do what I like as long as it isn't alcohol (or drugs).  I'm good at self-imposed deprivation and quitting drinking was not really a problem.

It took a couple of months after I quit drinking for me to start looking at the things that I drank to avoid thinking about.  Getting my financial situation in order has been much more painful than quitting drinking, and I can't really say that it is in order, but I have discovered that this is another exercise in deprivation.  If I spend my paycheck on whatever strikes my fancy I will never get to a place where I feel financially solid.  I'm on a plan now, to pay off my debt and get a 6-month cushion in my bank account.  Then I can start investing, traveling, buying cars and houses.  This will take at least 5 years if my financial situation does not change.  Monetarily speaking, those are the things I want, and not necessarily new jeans or coffee & pastries.  If I keep my mind on my priorities and what I really want out of life, it doesn't feel like deprivation.

Part of this plan is putting myself on a cash allowance.  It seems ridiculous, but if I use my debit card there's no way I will keep track of how much I'm spending.  I've had enough overdraft fees to know this is true.  So each week I get $xxx in cash, and I am frankly amazed on how fast it disappears.  On what? Groceries, lunch, coffee & pastries, an occasional book or CD, dinner... that's about it.  I don't have anything left to save up for trips or shoes or other things I want to buy now.  So this naturally leads me to ask: what can I live without?

I'm an emotional shopper.  I buy things, including scones, to make myself feel better.  Two of the things I buy in almost humorous quantities are lipstick and pens.  It's not like I'm obsessively out shopping for lipstick or pens every day, or even every month, but I pick them up here and there.  I'm always looking for the right lipstick or the perfect pen, and I never seem to be quite satisfied.  I have a small drawer for pens and last time I cleaned out my bags (another item I tend to buy repeatedly, looking for the right one) the pen drawer became too full to close.  I'm guessing there are at least 100 pens in there. 

I'm also an emotional grocery shopper.  Cheese, chocolate, $5 Olive Bread, organic avocados, overpriced cookies with no hydrogenated oils, $15/lb wild caught salmon:  these are all comfort foods and all things I can probably do without if I have to.  Since I have quit drinking I have relied heavily on treats to compensate. Chocolate cake. Creme brulee. Cherry almond scones and an Americano for breakfast.  If I have the money in my wallet I will buy these things.  I don't feel guilty about this, nor do I think I should stop having these things, but I do think I should stop using food for emotional support on a daily basis.  Now and then, sure, have some ice cream to make up for a bad day/ year/ life.  Just not every day.  I need to be getting some other kind of satisfaction out of my life.  Food should be for nourishment and for pleasure, but not for therapy, and certainly not the only thing that gives me joy.

I'm fasting this week to try to break myself out of my comfort food addiction. I'm also giving my body a chance to detox a bit more.  It's surprising how much detoxing there is to do after 15 years of regular alcohol intake.  Yesterday I had only water with lemon.  Today I add fruit juice and herbal tea, tomorrow I add fresh fruit, and the next day I add steamed rice and steamed vegetables, and I will stick with that until the end of the week.  Fasting is grueling, but it feels great afterward.  All the sluggishness that comes with processing rich foods disappears, and the mind becomes much more clear and focused.

Deprivation is no fun, but when the long-term reward is greater than immediate gratification it is well worth the effort.

I don't do Spring cleaning like I don't do New Years resolutions.  If one wants to clean behind the fridge or quit smoking, do it on October 4!  Why not!

Due to a lack of coordinated effort toward heavy cleaning and a general disinclination to clean at all... I haven't really had a good housecleaning... Um, I'm not sure when actually.  I clean up when I move.  I clean some areas on occasion and then proceed to mess them up again in short order.

On January 1 I quit drinking alcohol.  This could be looked on as a resolution of sorts, but it's really more of a major lifestyle change.  So why not try Spring Cleaning this year too?  Another major lifestyle change perhaps.  I've made a list and plan to start as soon as I finish writing my final essay for my undergraduate career at the UW on Saturday.  I plan to finish the Spring cleaning list as well as a weeklong detox sometime before I go to the hot springs on the 27th.  I am generally a lazy and weak-willed person, but when I decide to do something I DO IT. We'll see if I come back moaning and making excuses at the end of April.

I have been thinking quite hard about my lifestyle and my values lately and the ways they don't exactly sync up in many ways.  I am taking a hard line with my finances and coming to terms with just how much I have over-spent on nothing. I don't regret any of my travels, although they were not necessarily fiscally wise, but I do regret how I have learned to spend to try to make myself feel better.  Very few of the shoes and clothes and cds and nights out have turned out to be worth the price, especially the price I end up paying for carrying a balance on my credit cards.

I am going to make a difficult and humiliating admission.  My credit card debt is nearly $30K and I honestly can't think of more than a couple of things I have to show for it.  A nice bed... Yeah, that's about it.  I was about to launch into my usual rationalization but why bother.  There's nothing wrong with me that isn't wrong with many others.  We get sucked into the lifestyle that costs just slightly more than what we make.  My checking account is currently overdrawn and I am making about twice as much as I ever have before.  I always spend just slightly more than I make. So, another major lifestyle change.  I'm going to start acting like I only make half as much as I do and get out of debt.  It means no lifestyle upgrades or  world travel.  It means cooking  for myself and bringing my lunch.  It means skimping on Christmas gifts and wearing the same clothes for another year.  It means simplifying.

It's hard to give up bad habits, but somebody's gotta do it.