who the hell are these people?

May 19, 2007 at 3:49 PM
12 comments

I just cleaned out my personal email accounts, and in doing so created a "dating" folder for messages from the men I have gone out with or at least exchanged emails with over the last two years. I did not include emails from those who started as dates but graduated to another category (like "friend"). Still there are 284 emails in there and in about 80% of the cases I don't remember:
a) If I ever met this person, or
b) if so, what he looks like or anything else about the date.

It stands to reason that I've decided to take an extended break. What a lot of pointless work.

On the other hand, I have received 642 emails from my ex-husband in the same time period. I'm not sure what that means.

12 comments

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email,
dating

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wow! sounds like you went on a dating frenzy. I guess if you can't remember much about them they didn't make an impact. I say delete their asses.

I would, but it's actually kind of interesting reading, or reference material if I ever write something about online dating.

I have to respectfully disagree with Sweet Dreams. I go through spurts of dating broken up by relationships and breaks for my own sanity. I would guess that since 2001, I've met most of my first dates over the internet. That has led to numerous email exchanges before we even met. (In some cases, we exchanged lots of emails and still didn't meet. I'll stumble across an email, and be like "hmmm. that sort of sounds vaguely familiar" or "hmmm. I think I've heard that name before." It's kind of fun.

In an odd case, I went out on a first date last summer with a woman I met online. After we exchanged email addresses, she sent me an email, and I was surprised to find she was already in my address book. By digging through old emails, I was able to figure out that we'd exchanged emails three years earlier, said "let's meet," and then not done it for no particular reason.

I have a "date" folder, too, just so I can keep track of what I've said to this guy or that guy.

Maybe I need to take up actual dating. It's a little bit of a foreign concept for me, it seems like it would be hard to do. So, dating you go out with somebody and then decide if you like them as opposed to meeting somebody you like and hoping they will want to take you out on a date? Geez, I feel so stupid. No wonder I end up in the situations that I do.

Yeah, and the internet is like a smorgasbord. When you get on one of those dating sites it can be a bit overwhelming at first. Soon enough it becomes clear that you're not any more likely to meet that special someone on a dating site than at a cocktail party with about 40,000 guests. Most people, it turns out, are NOT a good fit.

And I am a single swinger ,and I sure enjoy,single swingingl,at the the playground,it makes me happy and I ENJOY my own company.

Wow! A date folder,when do you write all that down,on the date or after,it? It sounds to me like a lot of work.How do you build up strength and ability,to accomplish,this dating job ?

It is a lot of work trying to keep all the my potential dates organized. Not to mention finding the dates, arranging the dates, etc. It's very much like finding a job, submitting a resume, and going on interviews. I recently slowed down my pace because I was getting very burnt out on the whole process.

Your computer,it seems,is like a "Massage Grand Central Station"of dates.How do you way the pros and cons of potential dates.The cost to keep up with your looks,must be enormous.Of course,with that many different dates,you could keep wearing the same outfits,to save money,so there is a plus,right there.But still having to impress that many dates is hard labor and gets expensive,not to mention,the toll of stress and acting is hard work.

@kitty:

This must have been a fascinating process. Did you have any insights as you read through them?

@NYCinephile: Insights? not really. These are primarily pre-date "tell-me-a-bit-more-about-you" exchanges. For the most part the men I choose to correspond with at least write reasonably well and talk about shared cultural interests... The ones I choose NOT to correspond with are a different story altogether.

who the hell are these people?

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