QotD: Lesson Learned

Tell us about a lesson you had to learn the hard way.

1. Somewhere deep inside there lurks an artist. Making an artist work on Excel spreadsheets all day is nothing if not cruel.
2. Take off shoes when fording small streams.
3. If someone proposes marriage and you're not 100% sure the answer is YES!! say no.
4. Always cross railroad tracks at a 90 degree angle when riding a bicycle.
5. Male Green Iguanas often try to mate with their female owner('s head or ankle). Iguana foreplay entails the male biting the female with his vice-grip jaws to keep her still.  Sexy.
6. Wash hands thoroughly between chopping habanero peppers and rubbing eye.
7. Don't apply for a credit card. Just don't.
8. You don't ever have to decide what you want to be when you grow up, but you do have to decide what you want out of life right now, today.
9. Trying to reason with a schizophrenic is a waste of everyone's time.
10. Regular exercise makes everything a little bit better.
11. When you sprain your ankle in Barcelona don't assume taking the subway will entail less walking than just walking.
12. Drinking probably won't help in the long run.
13. When drunk and parking your car, watch out for signs near the curb.
14. Grown-ups don't need to take Ecstacy.
15. Staying up past 3am is never really a good idea.
16. Jazz is more interesting than any of the bands you liked when you were 18.
17. Sex with friends rarely turns out to be the best idea.
18. Nothing further can be inferred from someone's desire to go to bed with you.
19. It's 1am, pouring down rain, you are drunk and wearing the wrong shoes. Do not walk home. Get a cab.
20. The first time you ride your bike with clipless pedals you will forget you are clipped in and fall over.  Don't try to save yourself by grabbing a chainlink fence.
21. When you get divorced don't forget to change your withholding status to single on your w-4.
22. Drive your 22 year old car every couple of days in the winter or the battery will die... sometimes inconveniently at the mall when you don't have your phone.
23. Don't burn your lentils!!