les choses du dimanche

Nov 25, 2008 at 8:31 PM
8 comments

non!

bad sleep last night, and odd dreams about dissolving from the inside out - waking up several times thinking I was dying
trying to explain to my mother what my childhood was really like, without making her feel guilty about her craziness. perhaps I should just leave her out of this processing, but she wants to talk... so I talk.
in my new driver's license photo I look indignant and ROUND
heartburn - which may explain the dreams about dissolving from the inside out
e-commerce development nightmare coming to the tipping point at work
people are stalling the economy by "protecting" their own interests (laying off employees, cutting spending, waiting to grow, predicting low sales - it's all fear!)
apple stocks are stuck in the low 90's per share. I bought between 111 and 130 a share, which was cheap at the time - and I need to sell a couple to pay off a debt, but I refuse to take a loss... so maybe I'll just stick with it
my former employer is still paying my cell phone bill, which is not really MY problem, except it's a hassle to keep up on what I owe, and now it is several hundred dollars. we've been trying to get AT&T to bill me since February. They are decidedly difficult to deal with.
shootings all around seattle last weekend... "they" are saying "gang-related," which I guess is supposed to make us think these kids' lives are not worth trying to save... or caring about

oui!!

I've sold $193 worth of stuff I'll never miss on ebay, and I haven't even started on the Star Wars figures yet.
I sold my CD player for $400, which I will also not miss because I have a new dvd player that works fine as a cd player
I had an excellent birthday
I haven't received many birthday cards, but the two that I got in the mail are from my mom and my former Rolfer... which I found to be an amusing combo.
I got paid! and for my birthday, in addition to the 3 books I mentioned yesterday, I purchased for myself the following items from Urban Outfitters: Square Kisslock Wallet; Asymmetrical Free Bird Necklace; Marled Popcorn Beanie. I think these items should be made into a poem.
People showed up to my birthday party. So many that it got a bit hot and crowded... and all people I was glad to see
3-day week, and leaving early tomorrow
Having the trust of my employers to make decisions
Duck for thanksgiving, and soon
Not traveling over holidays, at least not further than auburn
my bird making some new friends
the Mint Kiss Martini

8 comments

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a. leave your mother out. you need boundaries. especially if she's crazy and the reason for your problems.
b. ouch to apple stocks.
c. is there a telecom company that's not a headache-and-a-half from hell to deal with? if there is and you find it, will you post on it?
d. saying it's gang-related isn't a loaded statement. it's fact. nothing more. (p.s. seattle has big problems with gangs though it doesn't like to admit it.)
e. so nice you decluttered. AND
f. don't miss it. that's how you know you did the right thing.
g. a good birthday. yey!

I agree that "gang-related" is a fact, but it also seems to be a public dismissal as "scary violence done by young non-white men which has nothing to do with us, unless we get in the way." When in fact these are kids that are for some reason not getting the help, love, trust, and responsibility they need to survive outside of that culture. And that is something that is on all of us to some extent. We feed the culture of fear and the culture of respect through violence and wealth. I'm not saying you or I do specifically, but it's all connected.

It's not as simple as kids not getting the help, love, respect and etc. they need to survive, there are many more forces at work, and whether or not people care to hear or believe it, many many are in gangs and remain in gangs by choice and/or desire, not by "failures" of our society (a popular myth in liberal states including WA). there's a lot of pride and street cred in gangs that survives even incarceration (and where better to give up the life than in prison, right?) doesn't work that way. there's a bounty of information out there about gangs, including books by former gang members themselves, that makes for insightful reading and greater understanding that the gang life is not as simplistic as "kids not given a chance." p.s. there's a famous G who was executed several years ago whose name escapes me, he wrote several books as i recall, he'd be a good read ...

unearthed his name ... Stanley "Tookie" Williams, cofounder of the Crips.

I'll look into it. I know I sound like a namby-pamby liberal white middle class west coast woman here... and I am... but I do understand a bit about gang culture and have read a fair amount of literature by and about youth in prison. I get the desire to be in gangs, but I think that desire exists because that is the only way for some people who feel marginalized because of race, class, and socio-economic factors to get power, recognition, fame, money - the things we are all taught to value. I think problem one is the fact that we live in a culture that values these things and problem two is that we live in a country where people still live in the margins as "the other." None of these factors even goes through the mind of someone deciding to join a gang, much less "I need love," but I think by dealing with gang violence as an insular, self-perpetuating problem we are ignoring the disease that causes these symptoms.

[this is good]

The shootings: it is really sad to hear of people who disregard life like that. They can carry a gun and feel okay about that decision.

All the Good things are really really good, made me step out of my own cranky pants for a bit. ;-)

by that course of thought, in an egalitarian society, gangs would cease to exist?

I think egalitarian implies a lot more than getting past the post-colonial thinking of us vs. them or privileged vs. primitive - which is essentially what I'm talking about when I talk about marginalized groups in this context. Economic or social "equality" is not necessarily a solution to anything in and of itself. Gangs won't cease to exist as if by magic, no matter what happens - it's a deeply rooted culture - but as fewer people believe that is their only route to greatness, they will become less of a problem. Making guns harder to get wouldn't be a bad idea either.

les choses du dimanche

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