three rights make a left

OOH LA LA!

• Perfect, absolutely perfect weather.
• Bizarre dreams make sleep less boring.
• Action! Lists!
• Clean floors, mostly.
• Salad week is upon us.
• Back to pizza and vodka next week. Woot.
• Not feeling desperate or fearful about anything.
• Being OK with my singularity.
• I no longer have to worry about Michael Jackson. Not that I did. But he was a bit alarming.
• Almost to page 600 of Infinite Jest. It's not infinite after all.

• Negotiating my own self-image vis a vis "dating" and wondering if it's actually beneficial to me in any way. Dating that is.
  
• The pointless complexity of receiving packages from UPS in a secure building.
• Doing yoga less than 4 hours after gorging on ethiopian food can be uncomfortable.
• Procrastination, indecision, and avoidance.
• Figuring out how to "monetize."
  

Instructions:
Copy this and paste into a new entry. Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read. Tag other "Book Nerds."

I went with the standards of the person who posted this before me: I am a purist, so if I hadn't read the whole book it didn't count.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen x
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien x
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (You must have read them ALL!)  (only 2)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee x
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte x
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell x
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman x
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens x

Total: 7

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott x
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier x
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien x
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger x
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger x
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

Total: 5

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck x
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll x
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame x

Total: 3

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis x
34 Emma-Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis x
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hossein
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

Total: 2

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell x
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez x
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins x
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood x
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding x
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan x

Total: 6

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen x
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens x
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquezx

Total: 3

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck x
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov x
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt x
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold x
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy x
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding x
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville x

Total: 7

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens x
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker x
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett x
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno – Dante x
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray 

Total: 4

80 Possession - AS Byatt x
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens x
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell x
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker x
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White x
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

Total: 5

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad x
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery x
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams x
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole x
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare x
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl x
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo 

Total: 6

=48... almost half!

A new post on Lemon Zest.

Ah, the things.

The happy things:

• Feeling better than I have in ages from eating healthy food and avoiding most of the things I normally eat for over 2 weeks. I hope I'm not intolerant to wheat or something. That would be difficult. Meanwhile, so much energy!
• Doing yoga nearly daily feels very good.
• I actually got out for a jog/trot on Sunday. For the first time in ages.
• I like all the herbal teas I get to drink.
• I can wake up without coffee now.
• I got a Flip Ultra for my trip to Idaho next month, so I can record my family visit and interview my family for my memoir.
• Tomorrow doing a laid-back video shoot with a 3-person crew.
• Popcorn. One of the few snacks I can have, and I'd forgotten how good it is when it's not drenched with chemicals.
• Going off of anti-depressants. I'm down to about a third of what I was taking a month ago, and so far feeling great.
• Yin Yoga. Pulling the bones apart. Feels sooo good, and hurts so much!
• Organizing to-do lists. Helps me actually do them.
• Satisfied with my single-ness.
• Alain de Botton talk last week was brilliant, and kind of helped put the whole "work" thing in perspective.
• Going to see "The Boss of You" authors speak tomorrow night. Excellent book for beginning entrepreneurs.
  

• Where is my money?
• Going off antidepressants means being vigilant about exercise, diet, supplements, meditation... which is good, really, but can feel tedious and stressful at times.
• The business plan is now officially taking too long. Meh.
• I think I might have to take a short term job after my trip to Idaho, if we don't score some sponsorship.
• I'm getting bored with healthy food. And lack of alcohol. A nice cocktail on a patio somewhere would be so perfect.
• I'm missing PJ Harvey tonight. Can't afford it.
• Doing another video shoot on the weekend. Working on weekends throws me off.
• I have not lost any weight on this diet. That's not the point, but it would be nice.
  

Last night I attended an advance screening of Unlisted as part of STIFF (Seattle's True Independent Film Festival) at Northwest Film Forum. The film had special significance to me because it was made by the daughter of a schizophrenic (like myself), and it focuses on the struggle to both maintain a distance that feels safe from the mentally ill parent and at the same time maintain a relationship when the disease and medications allow.

Unlike me, Delaney Ruston had never lived with her mentally ill parent, and part of her impetus to make the film was to better understand how mental illness destroys familial bonds. In her medical practice she works with the underserved and homeless communities, and over and over she sees people with severe mental illness, living on the streets or in transitional housing, with absolutely no family to turn to for support. One of her unsettling revelations in making the film is that it is as much the broken system that destroys families as it is the symptoms of the disease.

It is always much easier to look at mental illness as an individual issue. If someone is mentally ill, we think collectively, that is their problem, and they should just stop acting crazy and get a job. That's a bit harsh, but if you look at how mental illness is approached from a systematic level, that is what we believe culturally.

As Jim McDermott pointed out in his interview for Unlisted, that's akin to saying that if your house is on fire you should put it out. Or don't start the fire in the first place. Somehow we have accepted fire as a collective issue, while mental illness is still treated as a personal stigma.

My mom has lived on social services for nearly thirty years. Because she is in Idaho, she is able to have her own apartment and receive the home care she needs. She meets with her caseworker weekly, and she has gone through vocational rehabilitation to help her get paying work as an artist. She would never have access to this level of service in a major urban area, and there is a very high chance she would end up on the streets, off her meds. That's what we dealt with in the 1980's, before good psychiatric care came to North Idaho.

But most severely mentally ill people live in urban areas, and they have to get on waiting lists to get quality care. Meanwhile, they are on the streets, and off their meds.

1% of the US population is schizophrenic. 10% of schizophrenics attempt suicide. This is not even considering the much more common severe mental illnesses like Manic Depression, and Depression with Psychosis. My mom attempted suicide several times and survived. Delaney Ruston's father only had to try once.

These are not bad people.

This was an advance screening of Unlisted, so it was not entirely done yet. She integrates animated pieces of her father's autobiographical surrealist novel he wrote in grad school, which are quite beautiful. Watching her explore her relationship with her father and his disease is moving and all too familiar. See the film if you have a chance. As far as I know there are very few people who really understand mental illness, and it is important that we all try, if we want to live in compassion.

I'm not sure if it's entirely appropriate to claim "life" gave me potatoes, when in fact it was my business partner - who just stopped by to borrow my suitcase and drop off her vegetables before leaving town for a week. The potatoes are cooked and salted and peppered and everything. So I'm eating them.

The weekend was a challenge. Several hours of yoga, a few walks, a few naps, healthy food, and NO mindless distraction. My laptop and phone were both OFF for 48 hours. That doesn't sound challenging. But the yoga really was challenging, and I was basically a sweaty heap on the floor after the 75 minute sessions. I feel worlds better now than I did on Friday. What a difference a little retreat can make.

I have to get things together for a series of video shoots next week. I really wish we had some cashflow, because this kind of planning is time-consuming and tiresome and logistical, and it is going to distract us from everything else for weeks, without bringing in any money. The good news is we found a young, female filmmaker fresh from film school in the UK who has her own camera and is very excited about working on the project. And alliterative. For free. We like working with a female crew, and women shooters are a real rarity.

Tonight I'm going by myself to see Unstuck - a documentary about a woman coming to terms with her father's schizophrenia. This is a familiar subject area for me, and the director/ producer/ star is actually a local MD, so she will be there for Q&A after.

I've successfully completed one week of the Ultimate Body Detox, and I'm starting to get bored with the healthy food. But part of the plan is to acclimate to a healthier diet so I can continue making delicious and healthy meals... forever. Rather than getting take-out half the time. So, despite my intense loooooonging for something cheesy or bready or alcoholic or ice cream, it will be 3 more weeks of fruits, veggies, and legumes. I just need to mix it up a little.

Oh la la.

I have been negligent in the blogging department. I'm never going to become a blog celebrity at this rate! But seriously. Been a bit busy/ distracted and haven't really checking in much anywhere lately. Even now I'm only getting this in because my 10AM meeting got pushed to 1.

I haven't even looked at google reader for a week.

Instead, I went to San Francisco, where there was much fun had! It was great to finally meet some of the bay area vox ladies in person. The weather was primarily frozen fog, with patches of gorgeous spring. I walked all the way to the ocean.

Then I came back to a grant app deadline (yesterday), and a month-long detox diet for June. And my friend Troy was in town last weekend, whom I hadn't seen in person since 1999. So I went out "drinking" for the first time in ages - but I was home by 9, so it hardly counts.

I still feel like I need some time for recovery. Not sure from what, precisely. But this weekend I am going to do an at-home yoga bootcamp, which means 2.5 days of yoga, meditation, journaling, walks, and healthy food. And no internet or phone!

I'll write more this week. Meanwhile I must go back to consuming fluids...

A decent thunderstorm for once. Not great, but not the usual wimpy Seattle storm-fizzle. And it now looks like weather in Seattle and San Francisco will be exactly the same this week. Mostly sunny, 70ish. Fine by me, but how anticlimactic to go on vacation and get the same weather.

I have been way too distracted trying to figure some things out (business, travel, personal, pure curiosity, etc) that I haven't been writing much, either here or in my plethora of notebooks. I guess that's ok, but I feel like I'm avoiding something.

Meanwhile.

I played the Anagram game with a 91-year-old French woman named Marie (and friends) on Sunday. This is a very random connection, but it was super fun and I predict I will be going back regularly when I'm back home. Something about spending time with the elderly is nourishing in a way I can't explain. Sure, it's depressing to see someone withering into extreme old age, but it is also uplifting. She has a remarkable vocabulary for someone for whom English is her second language.

And tomorrow I fly off to SF for fun in the mild sun. I have a map of museums and restaurants to visit if I feel like it, but like all travel, this will be subject to whims. I will report back with anything interesting. For now, gotta pack!

I'm not sure why. Possibly the hours and hours I have spent doing research... and eating donuts. Top Pot has become our "office" due to a conflagration of internet/ seating issues in our apartments. So, yeah, fried sugary things and staring at a screen. Pretty much melted my brainmeats.

And I have become weirdly obsessed with Dr. Who. The new one. David Tennant. I have a big nerd-crush, and I can't stop watching the show! Sadly, I just finished watching the most recent season last night, and now I have to wait until next year for new episodes. Woe.

The wine-guzzling probably increases the tiredness too. And I plan to do more of that tonight and tomorrow. Tonight: Lily's birthday at Cafe Presse. I am already hungry. All I had for lunch was spicy vegetable juice. I want frites! and baguettes! and duck! and creme brulee! Tomorrow: my biz partner invited me to dinner at my favorite Greek restaurant with a couple of successful writer types and their amusing boyfriends. Meeting new people! Yay! More wine!

This weekend I also plan to start learning Shiva Nata (google it or check out Havi's site: http://shivanata.com/). This should be interesting as I am hopelessly uncoordinated. But I guess that's a good thing, because it makes my brain work harder. All this practice....

bleh:

• tired-ish, pms-y
• troubled digestion
• not especially in the mood to go to renton for an esl class this afternoon
• I need a better financial plan
  
• how does my house get so cluttery? It appears I'm much busier that I really am
• feeling hermit-y
• I am going to have to restrict my sushi intake
  
• packaging
• the internet is annoying

• gorgeous stormy rainy spring weather
• books! I'll write some short reviews soon
• finally, a proper purse
• not working til afternoon today means I had time for yoga
• good sleep
• putting things in file folders
• getting a new stovetop espresso maker. can't crack that.
• moving forward